Whether you’re getting married or your relationship is reaching a more serious stage, thinking about how you and your partner should combine your finances is a big deal. Why? Because you’re a team with shared goals that might look different from your individual goals. If you’re not in sync, achieving those goals can be difficult. When discussing finances with your partner, you should evaluate three options: fully merging, partially merging, or not merging at all.
Fully Merging
When you fully merge your finances, most, if not all, of your individual bank accounts, investments, and expenses are combined. For example, if you each have individual bank accounts, those can be transformed into one joint account. If you’ve been paying for that Peloton subscription that you never use, now that expense comes out of the joint account.
If the thought of your money no longer being just yours makes you break into an anxious sweat, don’t worry—you’re not alone. After all, you’ve worked hard to build your financial life, and the idea of merging can seem daunting. But believe it or not, research from the University of Indiana has shown that couples who merge their finances tend to have better relationships, argue less about money, and feel more confident about how their money is managed.
Ultimately, combining your money requires open communication, trust, and transparency. With all your finances managed jointly, both of you will have a clear view of your financial situation. Plus, you can feel more confident that you’re moving together in the direction of your shared goals.
Partially Merging
Partially merging your finances is like dipping your toe in the water because you’re not quite ready to jump in.
In a partially merged system, some accounts will be joint accounts, while others remain separate. This approach works well if you or your partner highly value financial independence. With some accounts still separate, you may feel more ownership over your money, and purchases might face less scrutiny—potentially leading to fewer arguments. Additionally, the partial system makes it easier to distinguish between joint expenses and individual ones, allowing you to plan accordingly. (Yes, that means you’re still fully responsible for that Peloton subscription!)
Not Merging at All
If you and your partner are considering not merging your finances at all, you’ll be joining 23% of American couples. Keeping your finances completely separate can invite some interesting conversations as bills and bigger purchases arise. For example, if your first child needs to go to daycare, who will pay? When it’s time to put a down payment on a home, how will that work?
Furthermore, with entirely separate accounts, each of you is essentially “flying blind” when it comes to making progress toward your shared goals. Holding yourselves accountable may become more challenging.
Regardless of which approach you choose, remember that there is no one-size-fits-all solution. Every couple is different. The most important steps before deciding on your approach are learning to communicate about money effectively, understanding each other’s financial backgrounds, assessing your financial health, and setting shared goals. You can learn how to do all of the above in my guidebook, Wealthy Together!